In this society we do not know where grief should or would stand when we are faced with the loss of a loved one. Death is kept so far away from our everyday lives that most of us process our grief alone. Grief is a feeling that is felt so differently and yet we have similar ways of dealing with hit – we get sad, we cry, we get angry, we become a bit existential, we lose confidence, we become hermits and some of us do the opposite, we drink and party like there is no tomorrow.
This project happened very fluidly. We were told my father had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis – scar tissue grows on the lungs and the source of the illness is unknown. My siblings and I did see him get older and the ending happened so quickly that all of us were left with the feeling that we wish we had more time, of course.
Humans want other humans to feel better. I think deep down we all have love for each other and we want each other to be well and happy. So, to this end, everyone will say that it will get better. For me though, it does not get better; the grief is always there, underlying my everyday, however the way I handle the grief changes daily.
These images are an exploration of my grief, or at least an attempt to convey my feelings about it. They are taken over the last few years before, during and after my father’s passing. For me grief comes in many forms; it can be the loss of the privilege of eating food you love with your loved ones because you live on different continents, it is the Armenian coffee you drink alone when once it was a mid morning ritual with your parents, the lost moments of your child growing up and so on…